Drinking versus going to church

I was sober in the morning when I weighed my options. Church or the bar? Well, I put into
consideration a couple of things as I took the long road to the bar;

1. Selfishness.
In church my pastor always has the whole bottle to himself while we manage to
get only the half filled bottle caps. At the bar, I’m usually hearing words like, ‘Hey, the next
round’s on me’ from my buddies, or better yet, ‘this one’s on the house folks.’. Such words are music to my ears.

2. Limitations.
Ok, so dancing and singing is allowed at both
places. But you see, I’m a freelance r sort of guy and, once I get started, I see no problem with
dancing with my shirt off. Hell yeah! I could do more than that if I wanna. Alas, do that in church and you’re one sin up the ladder to the devil’s fork. You might even get banned from ‘salvation’.

3. Women.
Oh yeah! It always has something to do with women, all the time it’s about them nubile, young things. Take these two places and play the
chief justice here: Where would you find easygoing, sexy, mini skirt wearing, purrr kind
of women willing to entertain you in however way you please? Huh? I mean, come on now. I’m talking,
booty shaking beaus, with asstates to match, eye lashes longer than an ATM que on payday, legs that goes all the way to Heaven, beings fit for immaculate conception. Not some long dressed grannys, spectacle wearing virgin girls with medieval hairstyles and Lord they can judge. Bible bashing hypocrites who can’t get dates, so uptight a vice grip has nothing on them. Try to ask any of them out and they’ll invite you to their white tent churches. Next time I meet you kind and they have the audacity to invite me to their revivals, I’ll invite them to my drinking hole. I rest my case.

And hey, last but not least. But this is on de
low-low. So i’m a family man and I love my
wife blah blah blah until i’m blue. I spend the
whole time with them and sunday when they take my money to church and hand it to that nigga who’s known as pastor, I finally get my me time. And
its at the bar.
As Brian O’Rourke said:
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”

Aside | This entry was posted in church, Drinking and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Drinking versus going to church

  1. furginominous says:

    Great, hahaaaaaa I love the women part though

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